For accuracy, the following news release from the governor’s office is published in its entirety:
Dover, DE – Recognizing the obvious void felt following the departure of former Lieutenant Governor Matt Denn who was recently sworn in as Attorney General, and his anxiety about a possible Jeff Bullock term as Governor, Governor Markell announced today he would be holding open auditions to fill the Lt. Governor vacancy.
Candidates must be Delaware natives, have a 5th grade reading level or a degree from Yale Law School and children more photogenic than the officeholder.
“During his tenure as Lt. Governor, Matt spent a majority of his time at elementary schools or attending events I was ‘too busy’ to attend,” said Governor Markell. “One of his most endearing qualities was his ability to blend in with the crowd – whether it was a bunch of 3rd graders or a knitting club in Long Neck. Any respectable candidate should embody that same quality.”
Auditions will be held in all three counties over the next two weeks while the Legislature is on break, to give any members of the General Assembly an opportunity to try out. While not required, bringing your children along for the audition is strongly encouraged, as they’ll likely be forced to join you at public events to serve as a good distraction from the mundane role the Lt. Governor typically plays.
Previous vacancies would have required the strength to bang a large gavel, but the Senate tells us it’s getting along just fine without a Lt. Governor. Experience with overselling yourself on social media a plus.
Governor Markell wishes everyone a happy April Fools’ Day.